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Just Scarlet

Page history last edited by Sweeten101 10 years, 5 months ago

           “Scarlet. Scarlet honey. Wake up, it’s time for school.” I groaned and turned over. Mom was beckoning silently for Leah and Chris. They were my little brother and sister. I heard little feet padding into my room. They giggled. I smiled to myself. This was the routine every mornig, and it never got old. They jumped on my bed. I sat up, making them fall off my bed down to the pillows strewn out all over the floor.

          “Okay, Scarlet. Here’s the agenda. Get dressed, make your bed, give the kids breakfast, go to school. Sound easy? Well there’s more so brace yourself. You have to put on your nicest clothes and make your bed better than ever before. Daddy’s coming over tonight and I want everything to be perfect.” Mom was always overly dramatic when Dad was coming over. It was rare for us to see him because he was in the marines.Whenever he was planning to come over, she took the whole day off of work to make the house look absolutely perfect. It was weird to see her panicking over these kinds of things, but Dad was a special guest, so it was okay.

          I decided to lay out some of the designer clothes that I had. They were a Ralph Lauren mini-skirt and tube top. Dad had bought them for me while he was in Rome. I decided he would appreciate that I wore some of the clothes he had bought for me. He stopped in a lot of different countries and always got me designer outfits including shoes, hairstyle ideas, hair items, tops and bottoms, make-up, and other traditional accessories. I had clothes from all around the world. He would always spend as much money on me as he could, since he was barely ever here.

          For school, I decided to put out some jeans and my new green silk blouse. With that I put out my green tinker-bell shoes. I used my new green make-up set and pulled my red hair into a tight bun.

          After I was done getting ready, I said bye to my mom and rode my bike the mile to school. I found my friend Jenny waiting for me outside of her bus. We walked to first period together. Ms. Linder was our teacher. She taught us history. Right now we were learning about ancient Egypt and their gods. So far, my favorite god we learned about was Anubis.

~~~ 

"Bye, Jenny. See you in 5th period." I started walking to Miss Vegas's room. She taught Science. As you probably already figured out, the first question of the year is, "Have you been to Vegas?" She told us she gets that question every year.

          Miss Vegas was my favorite teacher because of how sweet she was. She was only 27 and she'd just gotten out of what she called "teacher school". She was basically about five or six years older than most of her students. I guess that makes sense since that's where teachers learn to, well, teach. She probably had to stand in front of the class and practice teaching.

          "Class! I have good news. No, it's great news!" Miss Vegas liked to overenthuse about things. It was getting toward the end of the class. "I know that not all of you have studied too hard for your tests for today, so I am going to let you have unitl next Thursday to study up. But please, I am begging you, do not, not, NOT, n-o-t, study the day before the test. Which, again, is next Thursday." Just then the bell rang. "Oh class, have fun at your next period and remember to study. You have exactly one week! Get to work."

          The rest of the day went by quickly,and I was glad that Mr. Hernan, my last period teacher, let my class out early. Those are the only things that are very memorable.

          I ended up walking home just like any other day. I felt eyes burning into the back of my head. Every time I looked back, though, there was no one there. I thought I was imagining things.

                                                                   ~~~~

          "Rupert!" The man named Rupert looked up from his juicy red meatball sandwich. "Stop playing with your food and help me. I found the girl." Rupert lumbered over.

          "Well," the man said in his deep voice, "I never had lunch. We've been sittin' here since noon, Claudio. But you found our girl. And that's more important, I guess."

          Claudio liked to think of Rupert as Eyore. He was best at eating, sleeping, and pretty much being lazy, but Cludio was stuck with him.

          "But look Claudio!" Rupert pointed away from the girl. "We can't get her now. Just look at the size of that crowd."

                                                                   ~~~~

          Today was the day. It was the day of the test. The science test. I had dreaded this day for a whole week and now it was here. Miss Vegas may have thought she was doing us a favor, but actually we had to be tortured for another week.

          "Mom!" I shouted. Where was she? "Mom! Dad leaves today, right?"

          "That's right sweetpea. I am going to pick you up from school early so you can come home and say bye to Daddy." I ignored her words after that's right and started for school. It never mattered whether she was planning to pick me up early or not; she never did. So now I was on my long treck to school, cold and very, very alone. For now...

~~~~

          "Claudio she's alone. We can get her now. Come on Claudio she's important to the boss. And I wanna get this over with so I can have a sandwich. I've been daydreaming about a nice, big, juicy-"

          "Stop!" Claudio held his hand up. " I do not care about your silly sandwich. You should have had something back at the lab. But you were right about one thing; this is a good time to get her."

          "Wait... Did you just say I was right about something?" A smile spread across Rupert's face.

          "Oh, shut up." The girl was inches away and all dumb Rupert could think about was being right about something. And, of course, food. Some things never changed, even after working with a person for twenty years.

          Their girl passed them. She was only walking today. An easy catch, Claudio thought. I agree. Claudio looked over at Rupert. Get out of my head you nitwit.Claudio looked away. Sorry. It was Rupert again. The man raised an eyebrow at his lazy partner and shook his head. Enough with the nonsense, Rupert. It's time.

          The big man nodded and pulled out a bottle of liquid, a cotton ball, and a sack. "Let's move."

~~~~

          I could not help but feel eyes on the back of my head again. This time the really burned; they were close. I whipped around and faced something big.

 

          Literally. I mean this man was huge. And he had a small man with him too. What was going on? Had they been behind me this whole time? Things were getting weird.

 

          "Hi, Scarlet. Sorry about this," the big man said. 

          "What do you mean? How do you-" 

          The little man held a cotton ball in front of my nose and mouth. It had a sweet smell to it. I instantly knew what it was. The monster who had talked to me held me to make sure I could not get away and he held my head in place. I tried not to breathe and failed. I felt myself falling.

~~~~

          There was a bright light above me. That was all I could see. Just light. Wait, I thought to myself, Am I... Dead? I heard a gasp around me.

          "She's awake." "We are not prepared yet." "She must go back to sleep."

          So I had been asleep. I could finally see more than just the light. I was in some kind of labratory. In a cave. With the sound of the ocean below. At least whoever was around me had a good sense of location. I saw someone walking toward me with another cotton ball.

          "Wait! I don't wanna go back to sleep. I wanna be at home. With my mom. And Dad." I composed myself. "I would like to leave."

          "No. Once we start your training you will never want to go back to your dreary life." I heard people laugh. And then I was back in darkness.

          Training started the next day. The work was brutal, but I could not help but enjoy it. The The answer to my question came quickly; training started the next day. The work was brutal, but I could not help but enjoy it. The first day was the worst. 

          "Okay. Are you people crazy?! There's no way I can jump that," I said, nervously eyeballing the eight-foot-tall hedge. My Trainers smiled at me, amused. 

          "What?" I asked self-consciously. "It's my first day training and you expect me to jump that?"

          A Trainer walked up to me, trying hard not to laugh. "Of course, Scarlet. We have to see what level you are on. Go ahead," he encouraged.

          I stared at the wall for another minute. Everyone was quiet behind me, holding their breath I guessed. I sighed to myself and then, humoring them, ran at the wall, jumping when I got close enough. Amazed, I felt myself rise over the wall, landing perfectly on the grass at its base. I allowed a small smile before turning around.

          "Was that okay?" I thought I should ask, though I felt I did fine.

          "It was perfect," a Trainer told me, sounding slightly confused.

          "What's wrong?"

          "Nothing, Scarlet. We are all just... appalled at how well you handled that. It is, as you said, just your first day," a squeaky voiced Trainer chimed in. "We expected you to merely run into the wall."

          I shot him a dirty look before asking, "What now?"

          "Well, miss, you have about three hours now to do whatever you like until someone calls for you," said yet another Trainer I did not recognize.

          "Cool," I said, walking off.

          I walked into my room, completely stunned. It looked nothing like my room back home. The room was completely red and black, with a few other colors mixed in randomly. The Trainers had brought my clothes, make up, jewelry, shoes, and so on. My room was probably about ten times bigger than a normal master bedroom and everything was twice as comfy.

          I could so get used to this.

          I walked around, loving this new room. Wow, I thought to myself, this is amazing! I decided to use my spare time to take a nap. I glanced at the clock. It read 7:32. I walked over to the window and pushed the curtain aside. The sun was just setting. I lay down on my bed, falling into a peaceful sleep.

~~~

           "Scarlet. Scar, please wake up."

          I listened to his voice linger before looking up. "Daddy?"

          "Scarlet! Oh, I am so happy to see you, baby girl. But right now I am just a dream. You cannot be fooled into thinking that I am real right now. Listen to me," he said. I had looked away. "You can't stay here. These people will not help you. They are your enemies and you can never forget that. I love you, Scarlet."

          "No! Please don't leave me!"

          I sat straight up in bed. "I love you, too," I whispered into my dark room.

~~~

          "Are you more ready this time, Scarlet," a man's voice asked, effectively pulling me from my thoughts.

          I looked up and raised one reddish-brown eyebrow at him. "As ready as I'll ever be, I suppose," I said smiling wryly at him. He smiles back humorlessly.

          "Shall we get started, then?" He did not give me time to answer. "This task will test your directional abilities as well as strength, location, and memory. What you must first do is find in your mind where your wand is. Yes, you get a wand. No, you don't have to use it to control your powers. Now back to topic. It will be somewhere in this maze. Your job is, again, to find that. That will be location.

          "Next, you have to find your way to the wand without hitting a dead end. That is direction. After that, you must find your way through the different obstacles in the maze. You will have started the maze by now, of course. That will be strength.

          "Last is memory. You must get out of that maze without any assistance from your powers. We will know if you attempt to use them.

          "Have fun."

          I stared straight ahead at the hedges that made up the maze. These I could not jump. They were over twenty feet tall and I would use my powers just trying to jump them.

          The Trainer scared me a bit. When he told me I could not use my powers, there was definitely menace in his voice and an implied "Or else".

          This is so silly, I thought to myself, I have absolutely no reason to be afraid of this man. He was just informing me of that one small fact. I couldn't use my powers, anyway. I don't know how. And how could they possibly know if I used my, so called, magic powers. I can't believe I'm fretting over this.

          I began to concentrate. My Trainer had given me a photograph of the wand. I closed my eyes and made my mind blank except for one small picture of my wand. My wand. I could not believe I was already thinking like that.

          My wand, I scoffed at myself. I'll never even use it. I have to concentrate again. My image of the wand entered my mind again. A background instantly began to form around it. The image zoomed out, and I began to walk towards the shown entrance into the hedges.

          Keeping my eyes closed, I walked through the maze without hitting any dead-ends. After around ten minutes, I knew I had reached the end of the maze. I opened my eyes to see nothing but a small, greenish-blue rock sitting in front of me. Liars.

          I leaned down and gently tapped the stone. It started glowing slightly. The glow became brighter and more distinct until a blindingly white light shot out of it. Next thing I knew, my ankles and wrists were tightly bound and I was gagged.

          A dark figure stepped out of the hedge farthest from me in the clearing. Which really was not that far. He took two steps before sitting down almost three feet away from me.

          "Scarlet," the stranger said by way of greeting. I pretended he was my Trainer and raised one eyebrow at him. He, sadly, ignored that. "I have been hoping to meet you for a long time. This really was the ideal was. You have incredible magic, and I am going to use that to my advantage.

          "I suppose I should introduce myself before going into a big speech. My name is Torres. I work alone. You see, using your powers for good, like these men want you to do, is such a waste. I can offer you much better; I can offer you the world. You will get that if you come with me willingly. If you do not and I must force you to come, well, I can deal with that, too.

          "So. What do you say, Scarlet? You will have everything you ever wanted. People will worship the ground you walk on. We will be partners. Come with me."

          He stood up and walked into my personal space bubble. This made me uncomfortable. That is, it made me uncomfortable until he took my gag off. In that moment, I could not help myself. I fantasized about the fear people would show towards me, respect and fright. I could be free to do whatever I want. I would never have to do another stupid maze again. And I loved the idea.

          The fact that I would be evil fighting good was one slight drawback. I did mean it was only slight. Other than that, this sounded to me exceedingly fun.

          "And there's nothing in it for you?"

          Torres smiled at me before saying, "Nothing at all. Except that I get you."

          "You don't mean that in some weird, creepy way, do you?"

          He used my signature move and raised his eyebrow. "No. Why would you think that?"

          "The way you said it," I mumbled quietly.

          Torres rolled his eyes at me. "Well. Your decision please. By the way, I wish you would stop talking in contractions."

          I glared at him, feeling a strong urge to stick my tongue out at him like a little girl. "Fine. I'll go with you." Torres smiled wickedly.

          "Good coice," he informed me before disappearing. I barely had time to register that he was gone before all I saw was black. Half a second later, I was staring at Torres again.

          "What was that?"

          "That was your new way of traveling. It is called archanism. Or, even shorter, arching.

          "And, why is it called that?"

          "Because," he said patiently, "you will be bending, or arching, space and time to travel to another place of your choice. The farther you go, the more you bend. Anyone can do it; magical people are the only ones who have actually even begun to explore the deepest recesses of their minds."

          Uncharacteristically, I raised both brows. "I see."

          He chuckled. His laughter lit up his face. Now that I really looked, I could see that he was handsome. Very handsome. He had endless deep green eyes that made you feel like he could see into your soul. Maybe he could. His dark brown hair was thick and beautiful. Every one of his facial features were perfect, his full lips currently turned up into a smile. He had perfectly muscled arms and a strong upper torso.

          "Scarlet?" Torres's voice broke into my reverie. "Were you planning on staring at me all day, or can we get to work?" I smiled guiltily. Caught.

          "Well, you wanna get to work. Lead the way." He led me down a dark hallway with only a few doors that I could see. Torres stopped at the second door to the end. When he opened it, I could see the room had been transformed into a wide field. I looked at him questioningly.

          He walked into the tall grass, looking like a Greek god, too handsome and perfect to be human. "From now on, this is your training field. You will lean how to fight here. I will teach you. Any questions?"

          "How old are you, Torres?" I blushed deeply. "I'm sorry. Forget I asked."

          "That is quite alright. I am 24. I also happen to know that you are 22. Anything else?"

          "Yeah. Why was tying and gagging me the best way to talk to me? I don't really enjoy being trapped. I've had enough of that in the past few days."

          "I apologize for that. I did not realize you had only been there a short time and thought your magic to be more developed. Can we start now?" I nodded. "Well then," he said, "First we are going to teach you how to throw a punch."

          I scoffed at him. "I am perfectly capable of punching people."

          "Quickly and correctly?" My forehead creased as I frowned in confusion and cocked my head to my side. I thought about his question for a minute before shrugging my shoulders. He regarded me, and then turned and walked a few steps.

          In the next three hours, Torres taught me how to punch a person without causing any damage to my hand. He demonstrated all of the correct places that would hurt a person if you hit them there. He showed me how to punch quickly using full force and so that it would be unnoticeable.

          After our training session, we were both panting with our hands on our knees. "Well that was... interesting," I said, and we both laughed at my comment.

          "That was good work today, Scarlet. Tomorrow we start kicking. I think you should also know that we are first doing self-defense before working on your powers."

          "I gather from all this that you have magic, too?"

          "Yes, I am blessed with that," Torres said. "Let us go to your new room."

          Fun, I thought sarcastically, and he smirked.

          "I can tell by your face that you are not very excited. Do not worry," he said, as if he knew what I was thinking. I had been mentally freaking out because I thought he knew what I was thinking. Oh well.

          My whole room consisted of pink, green, and black. There was not any other color in the room (except the dark brown headboard and dressers and cabinets and the... well, you get the point). I loved it! It was original, and like nothing I had ever seen before, and it was completely me.

          I jumped up from where I was sitting on the- my- bed and kissed his cheek. He flushed, which made him look even more hot. I turned away, blushing furiously as I realized what I was thinking, and tried to find an excuse for doing that. I came up empty handed.

          "Sorry," I mumbled, "Knee-jerk reaction."

          "'S okay," he muttered back. I turned, still red, to look at him. He smiled at the sight of me. "You know, Scar, your face clashes horribly with your hair."

          "Ugh!" I started shoving him out the door. "I'm going to bed," I told him before slamming he door in his still laughing face. Now that I thought about it, I really was tired. I lay down in my new bed a few minutes later, letting myself sink into its soft mattress.

 

          My dad came into my dream again that night.

          "Scarlet?"

          "Mmm?"

          " I know you are tired, but you have to listen to me, hon," he said. "You are 

Comments (Show all 75)

Ava Knight said

at 9:36 pm on Mar 2, 2010

okay, ur story jumps around a bit too much.
u really nead to develop everythin before the conflict begins
she has no idea about her powers, right?
so u should mention that, and she should be thinking differently.
a little more explanation would help, too.
i get the gist of the story, but most readers would drop it after a while
don't meant to crtisize too much, and i won't blame it on shadoe for once
(Pauses) she said thankyou, and she thinks ur story has a cool plot, but makes no sense
shows what she knows. wait, she just agreed with me.......
anyway, ignore the two idiot twin souls, i think you get my point.
i need to go... shadoe's yelling at me.....

Sweeten101 said

at 9:08 pm on Mar 4, 2010

mwahahahaha
my story is actually somewhat long
mwahahahaha

Mokona Go said

at 9:32 pm on Mar 4, 2010

....
gack
who cares about length?
what about the content?

Volkes_Wagon said

at 10:01 pm on Mar 4, 2010

all our stories are getting long. and if you add all the pages together, ava has the most. she's the Founder, after all.
the content will come.

Mokona Go said

at 10:21 pm on Mar 4, 2010

the content has to be good in order for anything to count.

Volkes_Wagon said

at 10:23 pm on Mar 4, 2010

so are you saying that ava's works don't have content?

Mokona Go said

at 10:24 pm on Mar 4, 2010

they do, but it's all the same.
it's like um...oh yah, brian jaques' books.

Mokona Go said

at 10:27 pm on Mar 4, 2010

basically all the stories end u that a animal is captured, they have a feast, the animal escapes, they have a feast, the animal goes to redwall, they have a feast, the bad guys go to redwall, they have a feast, they all fight the bad guys, they have a feast, they win and let some of the bad guys go, they have a feast.

Volkes_Wagon said

at 10:27 pm on Mar 4, 2010

oh! woah, that's kinda true. lols, you used to be obsessed with those books.
though some of them have different tones.

Mokona Go said

at 10:29 pm on Mar 4, 2010

yes, but they bring in the ar points.

Volkes_Wagon said

at 10:30 pm on Mar 4, 2010

ahhhh....speaking of ar....
dang...HAZEL YOU SHOULD NEVER PROCRASTINATE

Mokona Go said

at 10:32 pm on Mar 4, 2010

i'm doing math right now

Sweeten101 said

at 10:37 pm on Mar 7, 2010

y dont u to put all this on the comment page, seeing as it has absolutely ixnay to do with J.S.

Volkes_Wagon said

at 10:55 pm on Mar 7, 2010

...ixnay?

Mokona Go said

at 10:56 pm on Mar 7, 2010

that's 50

Sweeten101 said

at 5:43 pm on Mar 8, 2010

ixnay= nix in pig latin

Mokona Go said

at 5:59 pm on Mar 8, 2010

irheathey

Mokona Go said

at 4:58 pm on Mar 26, 2010

are you KIDDING me??????!!!
(ignore this comment)

Mokona Go said

at 5:07 pm on Mar 26, 2010

First of all, your plot travel WAY too fast. (i give you a speeding ticket!) I think the reader needs to digest the salad of the story and get comfortable with the ingredients of the dressing before they move on to the exciting and hard-core meat.
second, why is she 22? that doesn't make sense.
third, your characters are flatter than a roadkill squirrel that was ground into the asphalt. Give more introduction! WHO is Scarlet, and why the heck does she adapt so fast??
books have some reality in them. DEVELOPDEVELOPDEVELOPDEVELOPDEVELOPDEVELOPDEVELOPDEVELOPDEVELOPDEVELOPDEVELOPDEVELOPDEVELOPDEVELOPDEVELOPDEVELOPDEVELOPDEVELOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Volkes_Wagon said

at 5:17 pm on Mar 26, 2010

that must've been a fun comment. DEVELOPDEVELOPDEVOLPESLDKFJA;SLDKFJAS;LDKFJMAS;LMJDSA;
....

Mokona Go said

at 5:29 pm on Mar 26, 2010

the magic of ctrl+c and ctrl+v

Sweeten101 said

at 7:33 am on Mar 27, 2010

dear heather,
what i do when i write a story is i make it a rough outline. then, when i am done, i will go back and revise it and make it more detailed. i told vicky the same thing in an earlier comment. also, it does make sense that she is 22. i never said she was in high school at the beginning. she is actually in college. i told you that i will revise later. and if i did say she was in high school, i will fix that when i revise.
Word of advice, heather: don't be too quick to judge.

-Fleur

Mokona Go said

at 4:01 pm on Mar 28, 2010

she still is very flat. you aren't writing a story, you're just writing words. the character changes everything. no character development, no good story.
also, you should know this by now, but COLLAGE DOES NOT HAVE PERIODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
also, WHY doesn't her friend drive???
collage has absolutely NOTHING to do with the schedule of middle school!
STUDY the TOPIC

Sweeten101 said

at 9:23 pm on Mar 28, 2010

their college has periods. and u r spelling collage. as in cole-aje. college is spelled c-o-l-l-e-g-e

Sweeten101 said

at 9:24 pm on Mar 28, 2010

STUDY the TOPIC

Mokona Go said

at 9:32 pm on Mar 28, 2010

it's amusing how you try to turn my words against me even though it makes no sense in your context.

Sweeten101 said

at 9:34 pm on Mar 28, 2010

now that i look at it...
it actually is
lol!!!

Mokona Go said

at 9:48 pm on Mar 28, 2010

:)

Volkes_Wagon said

at 9:53 pm on Mar 28, 2010

now now, little children, settle down. sheesh. (came after it already settled down)
*cough. um. i agree w/ heather, except if you're gonna put a super sucky version up, at least put it somewhere else first and edit it as you're copying it on here. Hmmm...though i guess it works, in the end...ah well. i suck at criticizing, in case you haven't realized, so...

Sweeten101 said

at 7:03 pm on Mar 31, 2010

dont b offended, but im thinking a whole lot of bad words at you
it oughta hit u extra hard since ur to houses down

Mokona Go said

at 8:36 pm on Mar 31, 2010

*two
I would appreciate it if you dispensed with the chat talk.

Volkes_Wagon said

at 10:20 pm on Apr 27, 2010

fleur, if you're gonna use five-year-old vocab and three-word phrases, don't try talking formal. it just sounds ridiculous. bump up the sophisticated feel in the wording. this is why we were all shocked at scar's real age.

Sweeten101 said

at 9:07 pm on May 4, 2010

SHUT THE HELL UP WITH YOUR CRITICIZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BOTH OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mokona Go said

at 9:43 pm on May 4, 2010

look at the quote on mrs.j's podem, please. the one about criticism.

Volkes_Wagon said

at 9:47 pm on May 4, 2010

my apologies. go and rot with praise then.
although, it is true that the plotline's interesting. keep it fast-moving, make the romance more subtle, and it'll be beautiful.

Sweeten101 said

at 10:25 pm on May 4, 2010

i feel bad now about using all caps and using the h word. i apologize
and its not that i mind your criticisms its that u criticize the same thing over and over again even tho i have explained to you that that is the way i rite. u r basically criticizing me for not writing the same way as you. its like criticizing someone because they don't look like u. its not fair. do u c my point??????

Volkes_Wagon said

at 1:25 pm on May 6, 2010

then edit it already. show us your best, so we can actually do some good. unless you think what we're saying isn't true. or well...i dunno. if you want your own style of writing, i suggest you figure it out *after* you've mastered everything else. or show it to mrs. bones, and if she's utterly blown away, heck yeah, keep it. but so far, *we're* not blown away.
my point is...i don't c your point.

Sweeten101 said

at 9:09 pm on May 6, 2010

okay well i see my point and you two are seriously pissing me off.
maybe i dont like the way you write but im not putting it all over your page...
THIS IS A FREAKING ROUGH DRAFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i don't feel bad about using all caps this time... >:P

Volkes_Wagon said

at 5:24 pm on May 8, 2010

sorry. my brain was mouthing off at everything the past few days.
but anyways. *my* point is: *there is no freakin' point in writing a crappy rough draft that only gets shit in your face!!!*
*cough. phew. it seems it's still mouthing, huh. so i take it you're gonna finish this, then go back and edit it, sticking a ton of awesome foreshadowing stuff and everything in? cuz if you're not using foreshadowing, *edit it now* in case you realize something just doesn't work and decide to change it.

Sweeten101 said

at 7:40 am on May 15, 2010

*sighs in relief/exhaustion*
yes. thank you, v

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